Thursday, November 12, 2009

Horrible.

Horrible.

That would pretty much sum up my first appointment with the RE. I should preface this by saying that my RE choices were extremely limited - 5 physicians are covered by my insurance and only 1 is female. I of course went with the female because I just don't feel comfortable with a strange man going anywhere near my vagina, not that I'm comfortable with a woman going near my vagina, but you get the point.

Anyway, we showed up to our appointment on time and the RE was running an hour late. We both took off work early for this appointment but things come up so we were understanding and patiently waited. From the moment the RE greeted us (or didn't greet us- she just called us back without so much as a hello) she was just completely cold and uncaring. Right out of the gate she asks me when the first day of my last period was (this question is getting really old) and what my cycles were like. I told her that my cycles varied - not much but my period didn't land on the same day each month. She straight out told me that this wasn't normal and could mean that I have PCOS without reading any of my tests or doing any additional tests...WTF?! I've been down this road before! I challenged her and told her that I had read that it was normal for a woman's cycle to vary within reason and that I had my charts with me if she wanted to look at them. She got all snippy with me and told me that she had been doing this for a long time and barely glanced at my charts. She did manage to pick out the 1 chart that wasn't complete (I was taking a charting break for a couple weeks but it still showed the temp shift) and rudely asked, "What happened here, did you get tired of charting?". I didn't respond to that and should have just walked out of there. She then asked me if I was using ovulation sticks and I told her that I had a monitor and that besides the first months it gave me a "peak" reading for the past 4 or 5 months. Without knowing anything about me she said, "Those could have been a false positives" and I told her that my charts say otherwise and she completely ignored me and proceeded to describe how my ovaries could be acting older than they should be...WTF?! She continued to go through the questionnaire questions that I filled out and asked if I had unusual hair growth. I told her that I hadn't experienced that. She apparently didn't believe my answer on her questionnaire or my answer over the phone or the answer I just gave her because she proceeded to ask the question in a different way. She asked if I waxed or shaved and I told her that like most women I waxed my eyebrows, sometimes my lip and shaved my legs but that it wasn't abnormal. She apparently still wasn't believing me because she proceeded to ask how often I waxed/shaved and I told her once a month and I didn't feel like it was abnormal because (1) it wasn't too frequent and (2) many Hispanic females with darker hair have to wax/shave on a monthly basis. She then showed her cultural insensitivity and asked, "So this is a common problem for your family members?". Umm what problem?! WTF?! She still didn't drop it after that and continued to ask if I had to shave/wax my chest?! NO I DON'T SHAVE MY CHEST LADY!!! This was all in front of Mr. BabyFever and I don't know about you but I don't typically share my waxing routine with my husband. At that point I was just giving her one word responses and just wanted to get the hell out of there. She said that she wanted to do a physical exam and I very shortly told her, "not today" and I think she got the hint that I wasn't happy. She wanted to send us to do all of these tests and I told her that I would think about it and quickly left her office.

Call me sensitive and overemotional but I don't think that is the case here. I keep replaying the appointment in my head and she is truly just a crappy doctor. I'm so frustrated and disappointed and angry and a million other emotions right now. Doesn't she know how tiresome and emotional TTC can be? I don't expect her to welcome us into her office with a hug but she could have shown an ounce of compassion or, at the very least, respect. It took a lot for us to make that appointment in the first place and to finally admit that we might not be able to do this naturally.

I'm not sure what to do. My only other option is to see a male RE, something I'm not looking forward to. Our insurance will be changing in 2010 and it's important that we get all of our testing out of the way before then, which means I will need to go in for tests with this lady. I need a break from all of this. I'm drained.

6 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry you had such a terrible consult with the RE. She sounds harsh! With the insurance difficulties, maybe the best way to move forward is to go ahead and do the tests she recommends so you can get them in before 2010. At the same time, start researching the other REs and maybe schedule a consult with one of them. So then, when you find one you like, you can at least have some of the baseline tests out of the way and you're ready to get moving with treatments. Just an idea. I hope you can find one that you like and trust. Good luck!

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  2. I'm sorry your appointment was so bad. I have found that male Drs are more sensitive than female ones. I hope you are able to work something out.

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  3. Oh my goodness! That is just horrible! I'm so sorry! I hear you on the male doctor front though, that's not for me. It's a shame that the only female doctor you can see has to be like that though. I do hope it gets better!

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  4. That sounds like a horrible doctor, and NOT someone you want to share such an intimate and important experience with.

    Try one of the male doctors... I actually saw a male ob/gyn for a while in college, and it really wasn't as weird as I thought it would be. They are medical *professionals* and should treat their job as such!

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  5. Wow, what a joke! That lady sounds like a real piece of work. That is definitely someone you don't want to have to deal with during such a touch situation.

    I would definitely try one of the male doctors. I have always had a male OBGYN and though it seems strange at first, he is very caring, compassionate and just an all around good doctor, so definitely don't rule out someone who could be an awesome doctor just because they are male :) GL, and hopefully you find a good match and can get a good plan worked out.

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  6. Wow. She sounds like a horrible doctor! I'm sorry you had to go through with that!

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