Friday, July 31, 2009

Bittersweet Birthday

I had always "planned" to be pregnant by the time I was 27...it sounds silly typing that out because I'm fully aware that life doesn't always follow your plan but I was still hopeful. With my 27th quickly approaching I decided that instead of sulking I would embrace my non-baby life and go to Vegas. We had lots of sushi, lots of wine and stayed out till the wee hours. I only broke down in tears once on my birthday, ok maybe twice, but it was so much better than it would have been had we stayed home. I know Mr. Baby Fever feels awful and the stress of TTC has really caught up to us.

We hadn't planned a vacation because "what if" I was pregnant. I didn't want to go back to school because "what if" I got pregnant. I'm going to stop putting my life on hold waiting for a baby. Yes, I want a baby more than anything but life goes on and I'm sick of missing out on things because of the "what if's". I'm going to continue living life and if when we do get pregnant I will change my plans. So with that said, we adopted a new kitten yesterday, something we weren't going to do because "what if" I got pregnant. When I make up my mind on something I go all out lol! I'm really hoping that this new approach helps me chill out and recognize/be grateful for things that I do have.

In other TTC news, Mr. Baby Fever saw his urologist yesterday and will be doing a SA soon. I got my first peak day on my fertility monitor yesterday...woohoo! I'm hoping that my temps will confirm that I'm ovulating.

CD 22

4 comments:

  1. That's really how you have to do it though! You can't stop living life on the what ifs. Ok, so maybe you don't plan a trip out of the country far away in April, but you have to continue to do what you want otherwise TTC won't be any fun and it will just continue to depress you! I have friends that just realized this as they've been TTC since she finished her half marathon in January. Always worried about drinking wine and such when she hangs out with people on the what ifs. I say live your life and restrict it once you know you have to (are able to).

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  2. I am really glad for you that you did take the vacation, and that you did adopt the kitten. Perhaps all you need is to keep up with all your other plans - you might be surprised!

    Also, they say pets are great for a healthy and long life. Maybe sharing some love with your new family member will help you in many other ways!

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  3. Thanks Katie and Mrs. MidAtlantic!!

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  4. That's a good idea. I'm trying to think that way, too. Planning next summer's vacation keeps me distracted.

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